This bitch fucking sucks.
I’ve hated Rachel Ray for a long time. I’ve ranted so many times and i still don’t ever get sick of doing it. Let’s be frank. She’s a talentless hack that is terrorizing the culinary community and she needs to be stopped.
From 30 minute meals to her ridiculous talk show, she’s easily one of the most over exposed, ridiculously under-talented people ever. She’s awkward, bastardizes beautiful recipes like coq au vin, and seeing her interview ANY hollywood celebrity is like watching a pie-faced trainwreck.
let’s all think of her in sexual situations and amplify the horror:
EMOTIONS ARE MIXED
for schwenk
i wonder how many lambs i’ve stumped
OBSESSED with ambien / ambien walrus. going to try and HJ my doc into giving me some.
this. this is all i want. and i’ll stone cold kill a bitch to get some.
IF YOU WANNA BE A 500LB SHUT IN, MOVE TO ARGENTINA.
The food here, albeit in many cases delicious, is fucking ridiculous.
These people worship the cow. with their stomachs.
In Argentina, beef is actually subsidized by the government; it’s the cheapest meat to eat by far and is EVERYWHERE.
I’ve been to a couple of Parillas (pronounced pa-ree-sha - Argentine spanish is funny with double “L”s. Tortilla would be pronounced tor-tee-sha) and i’ve gotta say the beef here is pretty amazing.
There’s one key difference though; argentine beef isn’t aged like it is in north america. here the mentality is pretty much “cow’s dead?! EAT IT!” …and then they do.
I’ve made a joke or two about Argentina and tacos, but truth be told, you can’t find a decent taco anywhere. you can’t even buy tortilla chips or salsa in the grocery store. I had one clear realization a few weeks ago:
In Canada, we’re closer to Mexico than Argentina is.
*GASP*
QUE?!?!
It’s true. Not only is a fish taco something you’ll never ever see on a fucking menu anywhere, but THEY DON’T EVEN LIKE SPICY FOOD.
what’s more? even PEPPER is hard to find! like regular, black pepper. On a table at a restaurant? nope. just salt.
Aside from these people’s distaste for spice, they DO like lots of european things, like pasta. Argentines have a love affair with pasta, although i think that they’re biologically engineered to over cook it EVERY SINGLE TIME.
Cheese and cream and anything dairy is super big here - everyone puts creme fraiche in everything, just like my favorite swedish girl.
Empanadas are a part of daily life here. They’re these pastries stuffed with all sorts of things, like beef & olives, ham & cheese, spinach & feta, etc. They come in tons of flavors and are made in most pizza places and bakeries.
So now, let’s take a look back at the Argentine diet i’ve just described:
- Beef
- Pasta
- Dairy
- Pastry
Yeah. that’s pretty much the diet of argentina. Vegetables are common but they always cook the crap out of them - and you’ll never, ever find a decent salad.
What i’d give for a clamshell box of pre-washed spring mix.
Well, i’m off to throw up and jump on a treadmill.
xoxoxo
Cape Town: Part 2
So 2 days after I arrived in BA I left for South Africa
I haven’t updated this blog in a long time primarily due to lots of work, lots of travel, lots of adventures and a menagerie of crazy shit.
Leaving BA was a total catastrophe - I had to buy a last minute plane ticket to Canada (imagine running up to a counter and asking for a ticket to Canada, you don’t care where) because apparently for me to leave the country i have to have a return ticket home.
Anyway, I made it to Cape Town (with a good chance i may end up in quarantine, as i hadn’t had my yellow fever shot for long enough - you’re supposed to get it 10 days before you arrive) but i was free, this time.
Cape Town is one of the most beautiful places i’ve ever seen in my life. The people are absolutely beautiful, too - i’ve never seen more attractive people in my life.
There is a very obvious polarization of wealth in CT that is admittedly rather disturbing - you’re either very very rich or very poor. There are shanty towns on the outskirts of the city, and about half the cars on the road are mercedes.
People in Cape Town eat really well. Whereas in Buenos Aires you don’t have a hope in hell of being a raw food vegan, cape town is a health nut’s paradise. EVERYONE runs and bikes and is outside surfing all the time. maybe that’s why they’re so attractive?
