IF YOU WANNA BE A 500LB SHUT IN, MOVE TO ARGENTINA.
The food here, albeit in many cases delicious, is fucking ridiculous.
These people worship the cow. with their stomachs.
In Argentina, beef is actually subsidized by the government; it’s the cheapest meat to eat by far and is EVERYWHERE.
I’ve been to a couple of Parillas (pronounced pa-ree-sha - Argentine spanish is funny with double “L”s. Tortilla would be pronounced tor-tee-sha) and i’ve gotta say the beef here is pretty amazing.
There’s one key difference though; argentine beef isn’t aged like it is in north america. here the mentality is pretty much “cow’s dead?! EAT IT!” …and then they do.
I’ve made a joke or two about Argentina and tacos, but truth be told, you can’t find a decent taco anywhere. you can’t even buy tortilla chips or salsa in the grocery store. I had one clear realization a few weeks ago:
In Canada, we’re closer to Mexico than Argentina is.
It’s true. Not only is a fish taco something you’ll never ever see on a fucking menu anywhere, but THEY DON’T EVEN LIKE SPICY FOOD.
what’s more? even PEPPER is hard to find! like regular, black pepper. On a table at a restaurant? nope. just salt.
Aside from these people’s distaste for spice, they DO like lots of european things, like pasta. Argentines have a love affair with pasta, although i think that they’re biologically engineered to over cook it EVERY SINGLE TIME.
Cheese and cream and anything dairy is super big here - everyone puts creme fraiche in everything, just like my favorite swedish girl.
Empanadas are a part of daily life here. They’re these pastries stuffed with all sorts of things, like beef & olives, ham & cheese, spinach & feta, etc. They come in tons of flavors and are made in most pizza places and bakeries.
So now, let’s take a look back at the Argentine diet i’ve just described:
Yeah. that’s pretty much the diet of argentina. Vegetables are common but they always cook the crap out of them - and you’ll never, ever find a decent salad.
What i’d give for a clamshell box of pre-washed spring mix.
Well, i’m off to throw up and jump on a treadmill.